Fantasty Deathmatch # 1: Ash from Evil Dead vs. Hitler

I'm so happy that MTV brought back Celebrity Deathmatch. That show was the SHIT, and I can still remember the first time I saw Marilyn Manson literally beat the brains out of Garth Brooks, on that shitty old RealPlayer window with my 56K connection.

My only little quibble is that watching celebrities beat the crap out of each other gets a little old. As much as I enjoy watching Paris Hilton die, I'm a lot happier simply pretending that she doesn't exist.

One epic matchup I'd like to see would be Ash from Evil Dead vs. Hitler as portrayed in Wolfenstein 3-D.

Okay, clearly everyone knows who Hitler was, and for the noobs that don't know who Ash from Evil Dead is: go away and don't come back until you've seen Evil Dead, Evil Dead II, and Army of Darkness. Pfffft...noobs.

Name: Ash
Weapons: the killer chin, the chainsaw for a hand and the boomstick
Previous Kills: 2 of his possessed ex-girlfriends, 6 of his possessed cabin mates, the Deadite army, countless heinous horror hags and his evil alter ego, Bad Ash

Name: Hitler
Weapons: the 'stache of mass destruction, chainguns, one hell of a bad temper